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ah laaa... my bro went to restart the com ytd.. so my entrty was erased.. anyway, to sum up, i went for a hair cut at 'shirleen mah' not bad.. first time being cut by a guy haha.. and it was cheap also la.. much better than the previous one at JP.. beside value shop (highly not recommanded) haha.. I blessed myself with a cd too! =) Sth i wanted but was in a tight budget.. saw it at MJ for 15.90!! of cos grab la.. Sembawang selling for 19.90.. HMV ard that price also.. pro-MJ! haha.. the cd is called "the ultimate secret garden".. very very nice.. best played in a garden.. hahaha.. anyway i have ripped it into my com so i'll be putting up some as my blog song.. =)

Met zhan peng just now to pass him my gp work.. So kind of him to want to hand up for this lazy bum.. haha.. He woke me up la.. and i have to pia my last part.. nice start to my day. haha.. have to go now.. meeting alice for gym! haha..

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haha.. i went shopping this afternoon with diana. =) bought nothing in the end except a small round cake for my dad.. hahaha.. so funny la. he picked me up at orchard and we went to dine at the revolving resturant.. He said that brought him back a lot of memories that was why he chose that place... I was so young the last time i went.. but the same small fish aquarium was still there right at the door step.. and the lift.. and almost everything else. It was like walking back in history.. I remembered being so fascinated by the 'turning'.. haha. Anyway, we had quite a sumptuous dinner.. all ordered by my dad.. haha.. birthday boy what.. haha, before looking at the bill he told us sth like "i pay 200, if there's extra, split between both of u.." haha, it turned out to be 134 plus so each of us got 30 bucks! YAY! =) He gave me 40 cos previously i answered correctly a question he asked.. hehehehe.. which is very lame la..

Him: "If you guess the name of that building, u get 10 dollars"

Me: "great world city"
hahaha.. oh ya the cake! Tragic ending la. i brought all the way home and put in my fridge cos the chocolate is melting la. i tried to hide it in the fridge behind my fresh milk.. Nice try........ He found out.. and took it out.. lol.. sounded quite surprised but i think he somehow knew it la.. lol.. he thanked me and i asked him to light the candle.. lol.. he lighted and held the cake.. after that he switched off the lights himself.. then i asked him to make a wish.. he was like standing there holding the cake and wishing.. LOL~ so funny la!! cos only can see his face.. lol.. after he was done, he on the lights and cut the cake.. lOL.. it's like.. celebrating for himself with himself la.. LOL.. cos my bro was sleeping and i was at my com.. lol.. anyway, nice day la. =)

J.Lo in "Monster in law" : "Life is too short to live the same day twice."

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It's my dad's bday today.. HOW!!! haven't gotten him anything... have been busy.. howhowhow.. Get him a shirt? or a cake with 5 candles (he's half a century young)? but that's so .. blase? ah! buy him a big balloon which writes 'happy birthday!!!'? haha.. that's really something for a big guy. kk i shall go toys'r'us later.. hmmm what else.......... a bright polo tee? lol.. too much for him la.. or...... a spa voucher? for a guy? gd idea! then he will want me to go with him and he'll pay for me! tie! OR WHAT........ sigh. generation gap.. he's bringing us to this resturant which revolves and he wants to reach by 630 to watch the sunset.... so i must get the stuff before that!!!! HOW! the least i can do is.. to buy a cake, shirt and a balloon which i will make sure he carries to the resturant hahahaha.. evil.. this is only a mild sabotage la.. afraid his heart can't take it haha.. okie la settled. gdnite.

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My dad saved me from boredom today! THANK YOU! Holiday is not that nice actually.. esp when almost all your friends are still schooling.. Zz.. anyway, i slept thru the late afternoon till 7 when he called to ask me to go Robinson with him. We had dinner first at some ulu place in orchard only to find that most shops were closed by the time we were done.. haha.. so we went to cineleisure to watch 'monster in law' haha.. funny show.. But major turn off was when zhanpeng smsed me in the middle of the show, not once but twice, to ask about nothing else but chem.. man.. give me a break. Had an ice cream after the show (cannot reject my father's offer la haha) and then we went to newton circles.. Share a bowl of dessert with him and bought some food for my bro.. yup that's it. ~the end~ With my father, it's always about foOd. =)

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Wah. wrong words keep coming out of me nowadays.. GP lesson today was most evident.. when sally chua asked me to give the name of the person who gave the quote, i said "er.. Gandhi." She intepreted it as "a Gandhi".. It was funny la. After that she wanted me to give her the quote and i gave the explanation of the quote instead.. and after that she wanted the class to give her some quotes.. and i said "You are who you eat."... GOSH......... HAHAHA.. And i thot to myself: Okie I better not talk anymore.. heh. =)

YAY today's the last day of school!!! Not that school's really bad but i wanna be my crazy self once again and let loooose... Back to the good old days of beaching and chilling out.. WOo.. But in jc, a holiday is never really a holiday... it's just a nicer term for 'you better catch up now than be sorry'.. there is a saying 'once bitten, twice shy.' (sally chua must be rather proud of me now.. haha) I must clear all my doubts and hw by the 3rd week! this is my aim for the holiday.. =)

Oh ya, my partner smsed me and told me that we got into the finals for Extreme Adventure! YAy. Part of me was thrilled as our effort during the very challenging preliminary round was paid off. She was good, she literally dragged and pulled me along.. But part of me was lackadaisical.. During the prelim round i was so pressurized by her.. her overwhelming determination intimidated me.. so i tried.. i tried more than i could.. and i was amazed by my own performance at the end of the race.. it was a personal record for me.. and i was glad my partner thot i did well too though i delayed our timing.. But whatever it is, 9th June is gonna be my trying day. Jia you!

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I tried

I really did

Maybe it was just not enough

But I will

I really will...

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I am a fighter

I must be strong

In a warfare

Against myself

I will fall

I must stand up

Finsh the race

I have started

A conqueror

I must persevere

Rough road

Move on

The LORD is my light and my salvation;

Whom shall I fear?

The LORD is the strength of my life;

Of whom shall I be afraid?

Psalm 27:1

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wah this week. Super impactful + transforming.. I've learnt so so much from Pst Phil..

One thing is: So often we may hear the voices of our circumstances, "No you can't do it." "You failed before, rememberrrr?", instead of God's voice, "You can do all things thru Christ who strengthens you." "Nothing is impossible with Me." " You are the head and not the tail.."

God is committed to bringing us to the other side of the rough river.. So long as we are willing to stay in the boat with God. Yes, sometimes u may feel like you're falling off the boat cos of the strong currents.. But God says just hang on tight and trust in Me, for I am with you.

For every bad situation, there will be a 'but God!..' Financial difficulty? But God will provide. Sick? But God will heal. Discouraged? But God will lift u up.

Let's have a but-God attitude! =)

Now thanks be to God who always leads us in triumph in Christ, and through us diffuses the fragrance of His knowledge in every place

2 corinthians 2:14

My flesh and my heart fail;

But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

Psalms 73:26

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just came back from the girls' 'A' Division volleyball match finals at toa payoh stadium.. it was a match well played by both JJ and NYJ whereby i was kept captivated thruout.. initially JJ was at the losing end but the girls fought on with such determination and resilience.. and eventually emerging as the CHAMPIONS for 'A' Division! I'm so proud of them! =) Even though i'm not in the vball team now but a part of me still stays and for a moment i wished i didn't quit.. but then again i don't mind sacrificing a small thing for even bigger things ahead.. The whole of J1 was required/forced to go and support the girls, which i thot was ridiculous at first.. we even had to miss some lessons for that.. but when we reached the stadium, there was an aura of excitment and anticipation that just stirred us up.. I was in the crowd cheering my vocal cord out haha.. oh ya, and one thing i don like-SORE LOSERS. I think these are people who can't rejoice at people's achievements and who can't learn the sweet hidden lessons of defection.

*you can run away, but you can't hide*

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I'm beginning to enjoy school now and i think it has a different kind of fun to it. Sounds so not me.. but i wanna thank God for changing my attitude towards studying. I've nv been so hardworking in my attire short 18 yrs.. this goes to show that miracles do happen! =) Nothing much to talk about cos i'm only focusing on my studies now.. and how interesting can that get.. haha.

I think attitude is the most fundamental element for a transformation.. pst kong said this before "your life changes when you mind changes." Walking into the 'pressure cooker' isn't the most pleasurable thing to do but once you begin to squeeze out some positive thoughts about it, everything will seem to be much better.. I think it's the same for all aspects of life. You will go thru hell at any one point in time, so why not make the best out of it? =)

*standing on God's promises*

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Solid weekend service. I invited my dad to go for service with me and WOW he was SO impacted. Praise the Lord! Throughout the whole service, i kept praying for him that he'd open up his heart and receive the word. and thank God, he did and was very very transformed. He fellowshipped with my cg members and joined us for lunch. I think he's a different kind of 'new friend' whereby he 'entertained' the members.. cool with that.. but eng chang complained my pa asked him 'How are you?' thrice.. HAHAHA..

Gary and him talked a lot. I don't really know what they said.. but it looked important.. so i willingly let him 'kidnapped' my dad to somewhere else to talk.. think my pa was sharing some problems with him la.. going thru hell now. But praise the Lord, God is now the strength of my pa's heart and i believe he will walk thru hell very cooly and emerge even stronger. God is so solid.

I reached home at ard 11 plus after fellowshipping with some of my members at bugis (N256 can nv get tired of fellowshipping!!!).. and pa told me he nearly collapsed when he heard a news.. i was like "HUH?! what could possibly happen..." then he told me, if he was to bet 420 on a game.. he would have won 17000 tonight. that's a lot of money i know.. but i didn't feel a slightest of tui-ness becos i knew that that was just one of the devil's tactic to draw him away from God.. so i encouraged him and told him that this was just the devil's work to take control over him now that he's on God's side.. and that greater things will come his way. Yes, the devil may offer you instant solutions, but on the long run, the devil will gouged out something more out of your pathetic life. And yes, 17000 is a HUGE sum to our family now, but whatever is from the devil, i will not want. Imagine giving 1,700 of tithe to God that which comes from the devil? I'd rather u don give. Our God is a holy God who deserves a sacrificial offering from us. Like David, I will not offer to God that which cost me nothing.

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Super solid! Have been walking under opened heavens recently..

Yesterday was supposedly another mundane day until da ren called at 530 and told me he had a free ticket to a orchestra concert at the esplanade.. Of cos, my adrenaline surged from 0 (i was tackling my chemistry tutorial in sch..) to 10. I couldn't contain my exhilaration! That was simply a novelty of surprise in an otherwise sian day. Concert started at 7:30 so i had to chiong home and change.

It was my first time being inside the Esplanade theatre and of cos i was thrilled. While soaking myself in the waves of sounds, i was brought back to the days when i was in the chinese orchestra playing the cello.. The sequence they went on and off stage was the same.. Anyway, even though the violins played the main melody, i was mesmerized by the cellists.. I particularly like the sound of the cellos.. it's smoothing and gentle even when playing staccato. I think it also neutralises the shrieking sounds eluded from the violins.. oKie, maybe i'm biased. haha.. the flute is nice too. sweet and clear sounds. Best played in gardens with birds' chirps as background music. hehe.. Oh ya, there was a piano soloist too.. he was so professional! (duh..)and suave.. He had 3 encores. During one, he played "'The Swan' from carnival of the Animals"
which i have the simplified version of it.. and of cos my heart leaped when i heard him play that.. i think most people can play music if they are being taught the skill of playing the instruments but what makes good music? when it's produced by your soul.. plain music is distasteful i feel. The melody can be simple but when it's played by your soul, it can be nicer than a chim piece played without emotions.

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Sigh. another earthquake hit indonesia again.. with 8.7 on the richter scale and epicentre near nias island. it's like.. the people haven't even gotten over the previous disaster and now another one came their way.. the suppressed trauma lying in the recesses of their minds emerged again even though it was not as disastrous as the previous.. i smsed my medan friend and he told me they were "so.. so shocked" as they could feel the vigorous shake.. but thank God nothing terrible happened. Some parts of Singapore felt the tremble too despite our good geographical location, that goes to show that we shouldn't take that for granted.. I think our far-sighted and reliable govt should prepare the people for such unpredictable circumstances.. what if the epicentre was to be near our concrete jungle singapore... (deliberately left hanging)

The God of my strength, in whom I will trust;

My shield and the horn of my salvation,

My stronghold and my refuge;

My Savior, You save me from violence.

2 Samuel 22:3

Human relationship can be SO complicated. It's like the more you try to spin the web, the more you'll end up suffocating yrself.. Can i just take and give whatever comes my way? I feel that if you try too hard, you'll end up losing everything altogether.. but then again, how hard is hard? Sometimes you have to draw a line and set a boundary btw 2 persons, but what if the line is scratched too deep and a gap is formed eventually? Is that better than having your personal space intruded? I'm standing strong on the vow i've made. If a gap is to be formed, I'm all for that. "But what about the pleasant moments you had?" They will all be memories of a journey i once trekked on.. Nothing to mourn over..

We can get tempted sometimes because we're sexual creatures.. Nothing wrong with that. But if you continue to dwell in the temptation, then it's very wrong i think. I always believe that if someone is for you then he will be (maybe i'm wrong), if not then "too bad, so sad, move on"..

I think i've swerved from God's path by not obeying Him, and now i wanna navigate back asap..

It feels good to break away from the bondage that hinders your relationship with God. God's love is pure and no other sources are better...

And right now i'm reminded of this song:

Turn your eyes upon Jesus

Look deep in His wonderful face

And the things of the world

Will go strangely dim

At the light of His glory and grace

What beautiful lyrics that is..

*Everything has its time and season*

Oh, i realise this entry doesn't have a 'haha'... when aileen is serious, she can be really serious. =)

Had a fun day chilling out with gary.. he wanted to buy a keyboard so he asked me along, but i didn't provide significant assistent cos i know nuts about keyboards.. they all look the same to me.. Haha.. and just when we finally decided on one of those shortlisted, there wasn't any more stock. Sian ji bua liao... I know how he felt la. When I started learning piano, my parents hadn't bought me a piano yet. I told my teacher and she was kind of amused and she gave me this paper keyboard which i practised on. If you can visualize 'playing' on it, it can be very self-entertaining laughing at the thot of it.. well.. it just goes to show how desperate i was. Heh.

We went to esplanade, passing by a few chocolatiers screaming for my attention. If it wasn't for the buyer-unfriendly price, i would have bought a few. To remain optimistic, that was a blessing in disguise (temperory only heh..). We then trod on to the Baker's Inn at One Fullerton which was a neat and serene place perfect for lazing the hours away.. It was the 'dessert' portion in the menu once you open it.. good business tactic.. We ordered a waffle with a scope of cheese ice cream sitting on it and strawberry sauce capped on. It was sooooo deliciouss.. and unresistable. The only thing was.. the portion was so small for 2! (where got enough for me?) I took my time to savour the last cube of waffle which was gone before i was satisfied. Haha.. DON'T CARE! i must go again!! =) Provided i feel rich.. It cost 10.90! *ouch*But worth it.. =) we ordered a jar of camomile tea too.. which made me sleepy after drinking.. maybe i should stick to jasmine green tea haha.. boring right me? =P Talking about food gets me kind of excited haha.. cannot like laaa.. haha.. right?

Has been spending my past 2 days at home.. no lessons right now that's why. I spent my entire yesterday reading like crazy. Finished Adeline Yen Mah's "Chinese Cinderella".. Touching book but didn't manage to make me teared.. Normally i would, when reading about tragic histories of people.. Haha.. I don't mind staying at home, just give me books and more books.. HEhe.. sound so geeky.

(A talk that goes nowhere..)

Sometimes i wish i was born a nerd. Then i don't have to try so hard to want to study. Sigh..

But then again, sometimes i wish i am not. Cos i don't like nerdy people.. oops..

All they know is study study and study.. As if their whole life depend on a cert.

Sometimes i feel like jerking them up and poke their bubble.. And shout to them that there's a more exciting life out there..

But on the other hand, I dont' think they even bother to bother about that..

Aiya, why do i even bother to bother about this..

Some students are just freakily smart. I know i'm not at that standard so i just wanna be an Aileen i never knew i can be this yr. Kind of anticipating.. but why can't proper lessons start sooner.. zz..

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woo. It's been such a long time since i last wrote. So much happened that i donno where to begin. Anyways, I was telling bro jeff how the past 2 weeks have been my most fulfilling weeks serving God in a new way and experiencing Him with a fresh touch. God healed me too during my quiet time with Him. Twice. And instantly. How amazing.

Had a zone game last sunday. It was as fun and creative as always. The best part was how it beings our zone to the next level each time. But one thing different was, our cg emerged this time round!! YAy! We were all thrilled and were beaming with exuberance.. We won for ourselves a hamper full of food! =) Actually our cg was split into 2 teams, with one team topped and the other as the 1st runner-up. But at the end of the day, it seemed like all of us won anyway. But it didn't really matter, it was the process of learning to work with people and strengthening the bonds that was impt. Our team encounted a few defeats in various stations but our spirits were lifted up with encouragement from each other and we faced the challenges of the next station with new confidence. No one blamed anyone because in a team, everyone needs everyone. Ah, there's power in unity.

May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus, so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.
Romans 15:5-6

Have you ever wondered how you could be in heaven for a moment and hell the next?

Have you ever winced at the recollection of something you did or said?

Have you ever wished that your crush at least paid a little bit more attention on you?

Have you ever wanted something so badly, it drove you crazy?

Have you ever waited on a promise which did not come to past?

Have you ever walked right into someone's heart?

Have you ever won a battle you've fought so hard for?

Hmmm i have. And am grateful for all the experiences i've been through. But i can't just turn back and smile at them, my journey is still long and it's filled with so many more "Have-you-ever"s. Right now i will just keep walking in the path of God and hope that there will be less negative "Have-you-ever"s.. =)

And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.
2 Corinthians 3:18

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Today! we got back our AO chinese results!! 04S4 reunited once again in room 111 with beloved Goh Eng Heah. She tried to be friendly with us but apparently none of us was interested LOL.. Anyway, before the results were given out.. the atmosphere started to tense up gradually.. I was filled with anticipation to know how i fared but yet, part of me didn't have the courage to cope with my emotions if it was to turn out below my already low expectation.. have to admit la, chinese is not my piece of cake. I only hoped to pass and get over and done with it. Which means NO MORE CHINESE for as long as i live!! YAY! okie.. So we were sitting as the names were being called to receive the result slips.. Seriously, i bet none of us ever like to be kept in suspense for such things.. Anyway, as more people took their result slips, an array of expressions were displayed. Finally my lovely chinese name was called, i took a deep breath and went up.. GEH handed me my slip. I took a glance and went estatic. I got a C6!!! lol.. Ya it's not a very colourful result, but the thot of me passing and never to take chinese papers ever, sent me right up to the moon. HAhhaa.. I went 'Heeeee!!!' and did some stupid acts.. lol.. and my class laughed. Oh well. can't contain the excitement of not taking any more chinese. HAhahaa.. Biggest joy. =)

Today, we also witnessed on 'live telecast' how our seniors received their results in the hall.. Gosh. If the tension in the classroom was bad.. the hall's was 10 times badder.. there was a permanent worried look on some (like you-know-who from s4) and prior receiving, the principal showed the statistics of passes.. Overall the '03 cohort did better than last yr and there is a general improvement. General advice from the seniors for us is to work hard. Yup! so i wanna start now! and i started just now with diana.. we studied till 1030 hehehe.. must start to stretch myself liao.. hehe..

*counting on God's strength i move forth*